what is the most beautiful thing on earth?
i have totally no idea.
it depends on how oneself views things.
boohoo. i want to cry then die. my results are all flunked! only did i do well (comparing to my sec1 results) in history. yeah. history rawks! :) i love history all along. i just hope to do my best in history, and i did it! yes! yes! yes! :):):) anyways. my maths is the worst. i would have never dreamt of having such results settling down right in front of me. i am quite shock actually. i expected to get around 40+ or 50+. to say the truth, i didn't expect myself to pass. i studies overnight and i didn't do much practice. at least not enough to give myself confidence. i really can't give myself confidence. i rmb there was once whereby i studied very hard just because of 1 thought - him. but i think, as time goes by, i lost more confidence and i find it hard to continue hanging on. after many things that had been happening, i am really wanting to give up. i lost hope.
i felt like throwing myself to my bed and sleep. but i want to finish msging on the phone first. 2 msg always come in together. haha. 2 different topics. but 1 of them is more interesting than the other. haha. one is talking crap like that then the other one is a bit more serious. it is about LOVE. haha. but now change topic liao. today i am really very tired. i didn't do anything in school other than taking back exam papers and band pracitce. but i still very tired. i think is band la.
today is such a terribly horrible day. i played solo. SOLO. and same will go as for tmr. haiz. i am tired. i want to rest. i really got a sudden stress just now. first time i played sinfonia classical without theodora or Wai Kit. the feeling wasn't at all a good feeling. at first i thought it would be fun. then i realized that the fun part no longer exist. we are practicing real hard for the upcoming performance @ sentosa. which is only 3 days away. this sunday. and we only have 2 more band practices. haiz. everything has gone so rushy out of a sudden. i felt like ending everything. but i know i can't. to think that Wai Kit is not coming back to us to help us out. as in help me out! i not sure if theodora would be able to be in good standard to perform. coz she has gone to OBS. (outward bound school) and she is coming back only this friday. which means she only has 2 days to practice. 1 day with us all and the next day would be the performance. i not doubting theodora. but is that even Wai Kit said that he didn't want to come back to perform coz he knows that he can't make it to that top form to perform in such a short period of less than a week. i really give in to Wai Kit to be able to say out his real words in front of everybody, straight into our faces. i am left speechless.
i don't know if i can make it tmr. solo again. i know the day has come that i must depend on myself. the day must come. and it has arrived early and the unprepared me have to face it alone. just alone. such things happen before. but usually after about an hour or so, either theodora or Wai Kit will come and "save" me. haha. but this time round, i shld have known that there is no one out there that could "save" me anymore. i have only myself to depend on. I MUST HAVE PRESERVERANCE! i want to work hard and be what i felt like being. i just hope to continue my days on a day-by-day basis. it will only be after the performance that i could sketch out another time-table for myself.
lately i have been changing bags almost everyday. haha. it is quite fun to keep changing bags. but most of the bags belongs to my brother. haha. he is quite kind. he said that since he won't be needing any of the bags i want, then he will therefore lend them all to me provided i leave them all at home on weekends, esp the crumpler. haha. that is the nicest bag. but carrying it for long makes me feel bored. haha. i still dislike the puma bag. i think it is ugly. but my brother thinks that it is nice. eeks. different ppl different taste of things. haha. ok. up to him. just as long i get what i want and i don't interfere him. haha. till now, i didn't. i want to sleep in like 5 minutes' time. but my hair is wet. nvm. i shall dry it so that i can sleep. haha. *yawn.......zzzzz*
remarkable results!