dying is a start of a new life
so why not die?
dying isnt painful. but living in agony is painful.
i am tired. physically and mentally tired. i felt like sleeping, and never to wake up again... i am tired of all these waitings and sufferings. even if i get a positive answer, i don't think everything would be still the same. starting afresh or ending all these lies in the hands the guy whom i love deeply.
i dunno to view this positively or negatively. is this really a test of our love or issit an agony? i tried to let myself view this positively but soon after, he took away my hopes and leaves me feeling hopeless. he wants me to hate him when i loves him so much. he wants me to forget him when i rmb everything of him. he wants me to break-up when i want to move on. he knew how much i hate to see him talk to other girls all-day long esp SHE and SHE but he sat facing them and talked like he is their lover. he said he treats HER like his sister but i feel that he treats HER more than just that. he said he wants me to love him but now he wants me to hate him. does he understands me? his best friend can't even understand what is happening. i guess that makes me impossible to understand him.
during this period of waiting for an answer (1week), i want to put myself to sleep and numb myself from all feelings. i want to be put to sleep.......and never to be waken up, till the time has come for me to face the answer.
goodnight forever. nobody can ever wake the broken-hearted me. i put myself to sleep at 050806.
remarkable results!