gawr. i hate this feeling of being all alone at home and not talking to anyone at all. i decided to go blogs-visiting. i suddenly felt regretful for what i've done to my friends for the past few band practices. miaos tries to ask me about an outing we are planning and i told her sth like i dunno anything. i know i choose to avoid qns. i feel paranoid. it's like everybody ard me.......loathes me lots. i flare up for nth that's their fault. sigh. when i'm happy i talk and laugh and play. when i'm unhappy i flare up and ignore everybody. i know the reason why i turned unhappy within seconds but the problem is i dont even know why i will turn unhappy for that darn happening. sigh. PARANOID. his absence is the reason why.
i stayed lone at home for 2 days and i've done nth but blogging and wasting my darn bloody time. shucks. i hate this feeling lar. lots of hmwk and i know i have 2weeks to finish them all. but i dowan to. i want to go out. everytime i'm feeling this way, i get reminded of the times when i cried my way home. i hate this, i hate that, i hate anything, i hate everything.
janice 1: i feel like sleeping even though i just woke up. haha.
janice 2: yah yah. go into dreamland only to realize everything is just a dream.
janice 1: argh! there you are at it again. always depriving me.
janice 2: well at least i always succeed in depriving you. loser!
janice 1: eee you are always being so evil. cant you be nice, just for once?
janice 2: be nice just like how he is nice to you? wait, rephrase. be nice just like how he says he will be nice but nvr did? muahahahaha.
janice 1: hey he is being nice to me. dont say bad about him.
janice 2: yah right. if he's nice then why aint he talking to you? why aint he studying with you? why aint he joking with you? why is he making you sad?
janice 1: huruse! his parents doesnt allow him to. his bills are exploding. he... he... ):
janice 2: speechless loser! he's avoiding you. your bill exploded more than once coz you msg everyday. but he? HAHA.
janice 1: he is nice. dont make him sound so evil. )':
janice 2: hmm. how many times you've cried coz of him? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.... uncountable!
janice 1: *cries* fine. many many times.
janice 2: get over him. he's not even going to see you performing.
janice 1: he is! he says he'll try. *cries*
janice 2: dont lie. you know that means that he wont be able to make it.
janice 1: no! he will come. he says he'll try... *cries*
janice smirks&laughs at the weak janice.
wow. feel much better after having that conversation with myself. i always have conversations like that but i tend to type them in when i'm super depressed. sigh. i shall go and play neopets - the longlost game. :D
remarkable results!